


Inhale, Ex-sail

by justanotherpipedream



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2019 [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Airships, Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Sky Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 12:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17745743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherpipedream/pseuds/justanotherpipedream
Summary: "Rich pirates decked out in top-of-the-line black market gear,” grumbled Tony, ”why don’t I have the budget to make those again?’Rhodey inched back so that he and Tony were back-to-back. “We’re apparently law abiding citizens now, which means having to pay taxes.”Tony scowled. “Urg, right. Remind me why I wanted to do that again?”Rhodey rolled his eyes. “What was it you called him last time? Your sweet tart? Your apple pie in the sky? The wind beneath your wings? Hopefully he’ll fly here fast enough so we don’t get killed. Or worse, mugged.”Tony Stark Bingo K1 - AU: Steampunk





	Inhale, Ex-sail

**Author's Note:**

> As part of my Tony Stark Bingo 2019 for the square K1 - AU: Steampunk. Special thanks to Kitteh for the puntastic title! <3

“Well Platypus, it looks like you won’t be bored with your mundane civilian life any longer.” **  
**

Rhodey rolled his eyes and looked down at the ship’s compass. “Right, because our right life now is so boring.” He frowned as he scanned their path in the sky ahead. “What do you see?”

Tony was grateful now more than ever, that when their functional airship was converted to a more comfortable passenger airship, he was insistent that that the bridge was still reinforced with transparent glass. Sure it might not have the aesthetic appeal that most luxury airships had these days in the Empire, but it soothed the need to constantly check over their shoulders for enemy ships.

Tony turned the crank on his spyglass, elongating the lense so he could focus further in the distance behind them.

He squinted against the sunlight.  “Hey DUM-E, could you block out the sun for us?”

A beep and crash was all Tony heard as the bot yanked on the chain to lower the sun visor.

“Yep, looks like we’ve got some pirates incoming. No visible large guns, and while they are further back, they’re quickly gaining speed. Probably to board us.”

Tony could hear Rhodey sigh. “How long do we have?”

Tony’s mind whirled as he did the quick calculations. “Maybe fifteen minutes?”

Rhodey clicked on the radio. “Kamala, can you read me? I need you to round up all the passengers into their rooms please. Tell them to lock themselves in,  and not to come out until one of our crew comes to get them. Then all crew prepare for a code yellow. Everyone suit up.”

“Got it Captain!” crackled Kamala’s response.

Rhodey locked the wheel and turned to Tony, who was already tying a small message tube to Redwing’s talons. Redwing preened as Tony ran his fingers through his feathers. “Ready?”

Tony hummed. “Get this to Sam alright?” Tony turned back to Rhodey, wiggling his gauntlets, the palms glowing a soft blue. “Always. Let’s go greet them shall we?”

* * *

“Well  _fuck_ ,” yelled Tony. He spun around and shot two of the pirates with his gauntlets, managing to knock one of the two unconscious. The other pirate was out of breath, but his long jacket pulsed gold as it absorbed the impact. “Rich pirates decked out in top-of-the-line black market gear,” grumbled Tony, ”why don’t I have the budget to make those again?’

“Because,” replied Rhodey. He turned and fired his pistol once again, stunning a few more of the invaders. frowning as their armour once again, absorbed the impact. More and more of them jumped onto the deck from the hovering airship that tethered itself to them moments ago.

Rhodey inched back so that he and Tony were back-to-back. “We’re apparently law abiding citizens now, which means having to pay taxes.”

Tony scowled. “Urg, right. Remind me why I wanted to do that again?”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “What was it you called him last time? Your sweet tart? Your apple pie in the sky? The wind beneath your wings? Hopefully he’ll fly here fast enough so we don’t get killed. Or worse,  _mugged_.”

Tony’s eyes flickered as he readied his gauntlets again. While it was clear that Tony’s crew were better armed and protected, they could only do so much against the sheer size of the pirate crew. In a flash, they were quickly surrounded by the pirates at all sides, holding their pistols and swords at the ready.

“Urg, we’ve gotta stall.”

“Yep,” said Rhodey, “You wanna take the lead here, or should I?”

Before Tony could think of responding to that, he felt Rhodey stiffen behind him. “What’s wrong?”

“Change of plans. I’ll work on making sure we don’t all end up tossed off the ship, while you distract your rich ex-girlfriend, apparently turned pirate.”

“Wait  _what_?”

“Hello darling.”

Sunset Bain jumped onto the deck dramatically, her polished black coat flapping behind her in the wind. Thankfully, the wind was strong enough to also whip her long hair across her face and carry her screeches from afar. Ha.

“Of fucking course it’s her,” whispered Tony, “you know what? It doesn’t matter, we’re still sticking to the plan.”

He cleared his throat, projecting his voice to carry across the wind. “Rule number one of being a pirate. Always tie your hair back before raiding. It gets in the way otherwise.”

Sunset scowled but smoothed her face as she tossed her hair out of her face. Her pistol waved all the rest of her pirates out of the way as she made her way across the deck. “I’ll keep that in mind. Good to see you still in such lovely spirits Anthony.”

Tony scoffed. “What do you want Sunset?”

Sunset stepped closer. “Oh well you see darling, we spotted your and James’ lovely ship passing through and I couldn’t help but remember how you used to tinker with your inventions and bots and I thought, oh I wonder what he’s been up to these days?”

“Ah you know,” replied Tony, “what most retired folk do these days. Enjoying the cruise life.”

She clicked her tongue and Tony could see her eyes narrow. “Don’t play coy with me Anthony. I know very well that you have plenty of new gadgets and things. I suppose we’ll just have to take the entire ship won’t we?”

Tony clenched his jaw, holding up his gauntlets. “No can do. We’ll let you walk off though, hop back onto the ship you very obviously stole and we can pretend this never happened.”

Sunset tilted her head. “Oh Tony, I’ve missed your sense of humour. It’s a shame we didn’t work out-”

“You mean because you stole my designs and sold them on the black market?” bit Tony. “Oh what a  _shame_ -”

“You’re still bitter about that? That was ages ago darling.” She waved her hand. “Besides, I’d say we’re even, considering how you ruined my life and reputation all through the Empire.”

Her eyes darkened. “It’s entirely your fault I’m reduced to this life. But you see, I’m willing to put things behind us for a new start. How about it? You and James can join my crew, and I will spare your lives and the lives of your civilians. I’ll even drop them off at the next port.”

Tony shook his head. “No thanks, I don’t deal with traitors anymore. Last chance for you all to make a clean getaway.”

Sunset looked around and laughed. “You and what calvary?”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “This one.”

He slammed his gauntlet hand down onto the ship, the pulse of energy rocketing across the deck in waves.

The ship lurched, tilting sideways and everyone scrambled to hold on. Tony and Rhodey slid towards the bridge, holding onto the sides of the stairs as best they could while most of Sunset’s pirates slid off the sides with a scream. To Tony’s relief, their crew remained, many of them hovering in the armour that Tony built for them, just in case this were to happen.

“You get to the wheel,” yelled Tony. Sunset was barely holding on, kicking the pirate that held onto her with a scowl. “I’ll deal with Sunset!”

Tony kicked from the railing, swinging towards the seething Sunset as they held onto the beam tightly. Sunset swung around and kicked him with a snarl. Tony barely managed to swing out of the way, his armour stabilizing him as he swung back.

With another lurch, the ship tilted back upright and Sunset and Tony jumped to their feet. She charged at him, fists flying. Tony parried her strikes, elbowing her a few times to knock her off balance. Both of them charged back towards each other, ready to strike.

Both of them tripped again as the ship tilted the other way; Tony glanced towards the wheel, Rhodey and one of Sunset’s pirates were fighting over the wheel. Turning back, he leaped out of the way as Sunset raged at him, weaving under his arm and counter attacked with a quick hook punch.

“Why do you always have to make everything so difficult?”

“Didn’t you know darling-” bit Tony, “that’s my middle name.”

The ship tilted again as the deck turned upright. With a final kick and shove, Tony created some space between them, holding up his gauntlets between them. “It’s over Sunset. Surrender and I’ll be kind in my report to the Commodore. Maybe they’ll give you a nicer cell.”

Sunset pointed her pistol at him. “We both know you don’t have the stomach to shoot to kill Anthony. But I appreciate the sentiment-”

Sunset collapsed to the deck in a heap as a swirling disk hit her from the side. Steve landed on the deck with his arm outstretched, the disk returning to his armband with a metallic click. He pried the pistol away from the unconscious Sunset with a frown. “Pirates. Always captured thanks to their drawn out monologues. Sorry I was late sweetheart.”

Tony slumped in relief, waving at Sam and Natasha  who landed on the deck as well, Redwing circling above them. The rest of his crew yelled back the all-clear, and Tony could finally breathe. “Took you long enough!”

He took the time to admire his wayward lover, preening as Steve crossed the short distance between them. His new combat uniform worked spectacularly, noted Tony’s mind, with all the new enhancements and specifications that Tony incorporated this time-

Tony jumped a bit as Steve’s arms tightened around him. Steve looked him over carefully. “Are you sure you’re alright Tony?”

Tony patted Steve’s chest fondly. “Perfectly fine my Captain. Or should I say,  _Commodore_.”

Tony always loved when Steve blushed; his entire face turned a bright red that crept all the way to his ears and much further down…

Steve laughed and pressed a soft kiss to Tony’s forehead. “And yet even with a promotion, you only listen to me half the time.”

Tony blinked up at him with a smile. “I may be open to negotiation. But I think I'm gonna need some convincing first…”

Without another word, Steve pulled him into a deep searing kiss, one that had him lifting Tony off the ground. Tony never did understand those heroines in Jan’s novels until Steve Rogers swept him into his arms. With a sigh, they pulled away. Tony grinned. “I like your style.”

Steve leaned in again with a laugh, but then yelped, tightening his grip on Tony as they both stumbled. Rhodey turned the wheel and locked it with a glare. ”NO MORE SUCKING FACE UNTIL EVERYTHING’S SECURED!”

With a laugh, Tony stepped reluctantly out of Steve’s arms. “Back to work. You comin’?”

“Always Tony,” replied Steve earnestly. He grabbed onto Tony’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I’ll always come for you.”

“DID YOU ALREADY FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID? STOP MAKING OUT ON MY SHIP IN THE MIDDLE OF CLEAN UP. DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE.”


End file.
